How to Condition Your Significant Other

Time and time again people come to me with their relationship problems.  They go on about the beginning of their relationship and how their significant other used to be so attentive and bent to their every will.  Things were so good, but now he/she takes me for granted and treats me poorly.  How can I get them back!  The answer is easy, condition them or release them.


Every single time that you forgive your significant other for ignoring your phone call for an entire day (which drives you crazy and into a state of paranoia), you're reinforcing the negative behavior.  These are the steps for conditioning your bf/gf or even a good friend or family member.  This is not to be used to get money or use people.  It should be used to be treated fairly and learn how much you're really worth.


Step 1 - Observe a behavior that displeases you.  


Step 2 - Let the person know what they did and how it made you feel after you gain control of your emotions.  People are more likely to listen to and process rational thoughts rather than bursts of crying and sob stories.


Step 3 - Tell the person to not ever do it again. Don't give a reason, your hurt feelings should be enough. Do not try to hurt them back or take something away; this will associate the behavior with a consequence which they may be able to deal with or worse they may turn it around against you.


Step 4 - Spend time away from your significant other for a few days. This says that your hurt feelings are enough to deter you from seeing them and that you're independent enough to be on your own. Love should be an addition to you and your life and not relied on like food and water.


Step 5 - If the person does it again, leave them. Remind them of the discussion you had earlier about the incident and how that made you feel.  Be serious about it and let them know that if they don't love and respect you enough to not want to hurt you that there are 6 billion people out there and one of them will. If they care about you enough, they will come after you. If they don't then you bit the bullet of further heartache; they don't really care about you and your feelings.  You don't need anyone anyway; on to the next one. 


Step 6 - If they do apologize and you want to reestablish a relationship, give it a  week or longer before you say yes.  Don't wait too long or they might lose interest, but gauge the time logically and not emotionally.  If it happens a third time, leave for good because they need to know that you're worth more and so do you. Chasing a person that treats you badly gives them the upper-hand and says something negatively about your self-worth. 


Step 7 - Now that you have conditioned your significant other.  get all lovey dovey and try to maintain equality in the relationship as best as you can.

Tips for Success:
A. Think rationally and logically instead of emotionally
B. Remember that you don't owe anyone anything, relationships are about the present and future, not the past
C. If you can't assess the situation rationally ask a friend for help
D. Follow the steps exactly!!! 


Follow these steps and you will be empowered to be more independent and rational when it comes to your relationships.  This is obviously easier said than done, but it works!  


Happy conditioning and I'd love to hear if your stories!